| pic courtesy of morguefile.com |
Here's the deal, I've been talking with a friend recently. She's been listening. I've been venting. She's the one who told me, "it's not all about you." I'm the one who cried and then had to stop talking about it all. She's the one who loved me. It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with life and how I see it and how I deal with it.
Good ole life....
The other morning, I was showering. Sometimes that is the perfect place to have it out with God. Usually no one is bothering me (it helps to be the only female in the house, I get the bathroom all to myself). It's a brief quiet retreat, where I find myself praying alot. Except this particular morning, I wasn't being so spiritually wonderful with my prayers. No, instead I was prayerfully yelling at God.
And yes, you read that correctly, I was yelling at God.
I'm not sure how anyone can really go through life with God without admitting that you get mad at Him. Honestly, the Big Dude, is wonderful, amazing, creative, loving, the author of life, He is ..... well, He is God! But, I'm not. I'm human. I'm imperfect. I really, really don't understand everything. I try hard. But well, I get frustrated and tired and sometimes ..... mad.
I'm saying it out loud. I'm publishing it for you to read. I get mad at God.
For the record, I'm not going to be struck down by a lightening bolt.
It's totally frustrating, to be mad at God. The problem is, He is never wrong. He always sees the rest of the picture including every part that I don't see. He knows me way better then I even know myself. He knows our circumstances, the people we are around, the children we are raising, the bills, the desires of our hearts, He knows them all.
And yet, I still get mad at Him.
Coming up.... The Reality of Being Real
wow i have been dealing with this a lot too with my daughter getting so ill and sick all the time i have been mad at God myself
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustration but try and direct your anger on who it needs to be focused on, the devil. God is in control but does not bring sickness or bad things on people, the devil does, and the enemy tries to get you to be angry at God instead of rising up and destroying the works of the enemy.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous 2 -
ReplyDeleteI totally am in agreement with you when it comes to directing anger towards the devil. And I trust me when I say, I do it. However, I think many "christian" people out there get mad at God and camp out in this confused anger with Him, not knowing how to deal with it. On top of it all, people tend to not talk about it and stuff it down and ignore it. Part of a real relationship with Him, is admitting what He already knows and then dealing with it up front. Through the process of being real with Him and ourselves we come to the ultimate revelation that He is never wrong, always patient, always loving, and always faithful. It is my desire to "out" the truth of the fact that real people get mad at our real God.
Lastly, it is easier through the written word to read perhaps defensiveness or irritability in this response, please hear my heart thru the typed words!
And seriously.... thank you so much for commenting! I love discussing!
Great post on a tough topic. I have struggled with this (the idea that I CAN get mad at God and admit it, as well as the ability to find a safe place to admit to others that I get mad at God) many times in my years as an adult believer. I feel angry when I have a plan and His is completely different and I struggle to get on board with HIS plan. I feel angry when I don't understand. Etc. Etc. But through it all, even while being angry, I KNOW that He knows before I even admit it that I'm angry. He knows my "issahs" and my "triggers" and my faults that bring me to the anger. He knows it even when I take cotton pickin' forever to admit it. He's okay with it too. Even if I SIN in my anger. He knows.
ReplyDeleteBut HE never just leaves me there. He forgives me even before I give voice to my remorse. He welcomes me and wants to talk it out with me. Like you said, in real relationship. Safe. Real. Relationship.
I talk to my kids about it this way: think of the best friend you have ever had. Think of a time when that friend did something that made you really angry. Did you stop loving that friend? Did you stop wanting to be in relationship with that friend? Did that friend have a valid (TRUTHFUL?) reason that caused the anger? Did you repent and repair the relationship? Well, God is an even better best friend than that. Like a gazillion times better than that.
And from where I sit, I sometimes have a hard time picturing a better best friend than Miss Stacey G, you know what I'm sayin? I've been really blessed to have REALLY good friends who always take me back. JUST LIKE GOD always takes me back. ALLLL. WAYS.
He made us with all ranges of emotions. Anger is one of the emotions we experience - He wants us to turn to Him with it, in it and through it. EVEN when we feel it directed at Him. He's big enough. HE IS BIG ENOUGH. And why deny it or try to explain it away. He knows it all anyway.