One liners, a few statements, and comments on other peoples statuses are all I've offered. I came so close to even shutting down my facebook page and saying good bye to it all. Some days I still think I'm going to do that.
But then... then I think about the true friends that I have all over the world and that facebook has been the most helpful in keeping in touch with them. I can't pull the plug... it's the way I talk to my dear friend in Holland, spy on one of my sweet friends in Washington state, learn of babies on the way, catch up with prayer warriors in Indiana, and chuckle over closer friends and their parenting wars.
So then, I thought perhaps I should end my blogging account. I haven't written in over 6 months and in some ways I've been too tired and exhausted, in other ways (here's my vulnerable self again) I've been scared. True to life's journey, I've experienced some serious struggles in this past year. That's my clue to shut down and stay quiet.
But then... then something in the pit of my stomach, the aching in my heart, head, and fingers, would tell me "don't do it." Don't shut everything down, don't quit writing forever.
Recently I've had several different people comment about whether I was going to ever get back on the horse and blog again. Inside my heart did two things .... ache and hurt ... all at once. I ache to write. I'm scared to put myself out there.
Yet, having people ask was a clue from the Lord. Maybe I do need to pick up my proverbial pen again.
So, I'm in a place of "discussing" with the Lord the point of blogging for me. We are also "conversing" on my fear of judgement and some hurts I've picked up in the last year. I'm at a Y in the road. Should I blog again or should I find a new medium to write in? What's His heart on it all?
I'm testing the waters with blogging again. No expectations for anything, anyone, or even fully myself. Just gonna stick my feet in and see if this is where I belong.